Earlier this year, for awhile I felt stuck like nothing was happening for me. No matter what I did or how hard I think I tried, things were the same. It was such a daunting experience for me, so much that I had to figure out what was happening in my life. Sure enough, I did a self-evaluation (which is always great!; if you are thinking about doing one, the 6-month inventory is a perfect one). I created an inventory of what I achieved, what I failed at and thought about ways I got get my life on the track, the way I wanted it to be. And like you would imagine, I don't have control over everything, so I decided to fix what I could and leave the rest to the universe.
But there were two (2) things that stood out to me during my self-evaluation, we often feel stuck, if we have only been complaining without doing anything to change the situation and if we don't recognize the great things that are happening in our life.
So, before I decided to fix what I could. I decided to focus on being grateful (even for the smallest things). I then created a system which I found has worked me. That system has helped me to host my first in-person event, the FWTW Gathering, which happened last month. I have shared some of these same things through the 'Make It Happen' goal sheet (which was designed specifically for, For Women to Women).
Here, I share five (5) hard truths that I learned about 'being stuck'. It was after identifying some of these same things in my life; that helped me to take the necessary action to start making things happen the way I want it. Simply, put it gave me some inspiration to stop feeling sorry for myself and instead to #getthingsdone.
1. You constantly compare yourself others
It's very human of us to peek over to see what everyone else is doing and compare our journey to theirs. But one of the reasons why I found that I felt stuck was because I was often comparing my story and journey to others. But I have learned that instead of comparing and wanting a like or story similar to others, it's better to find ways you can be inspired by others journey. For instance, I admire Myleik Teele of Curlbox and Karen Civil's and their success, so much that it has pushed me to go harder and for me to be my authentic self.
The minute you realise, your journey is yours, and only you can tell your story the way you can, then you will accept things for the way they are and instead of comparing yourself to others. Like, I love to say, don't get jealous be inspired.
2. Wanting but not doing/ Complaining without making the changes
Lazy don't get you anywhere, so wanting to see changes in your life, means you will have to #getthingsdone. In one of my all time favourite books, You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life, Jen Sincero shared that if, you are constantly complaining about something that means you need to put in the work to change the things you don't like. Sounds logical, right? Complaining but not doing. Or wanting but not doing will always make you feel stuck. So it equation is simple, to make things happen, means you will need to change something in your life to make things happen. So whether it means sacrificing something or investing more work, then you need to do what you need to do to change your current situation.
3. Not believing you can go to the next level
Going to the next level means you will have to take risks and invest in putting in the work. But most importantly, you've got to believe you are READY to go to the next level. Often, we stay stuck in our situation because we are not mentally ready or even prepared to reach the next level of success. There will not be a perfect moment, so reaching where you want to go, means you have to start preparing before that moment comes and promote yourself. That faith, that's believing that your moment will come. So instead of feeling sorry for yourself when things don't work the way you hoped, keep preparing for the next level.
Recently, I watched one of the most inspiring TED videos on 'Trusting Your Struggle' by Zain Asher, who breaks it down way better than I do. Plus, Myleik Teele did an awesome podcast on this same topic.
4. Waiting for the perfect moment to START
Imagine if you sat around waiting for the perfect everything. If I waited for the perfect job, I wouldn't be where I am today. Or if I waited until I had all the money and team I wanted to create my brand, I would have never grown into who I am.
What I am saying is, so many of us get consumed with wanting complete, when perfect doesn't exist. There will never be a perfect moment to start something, so whatever you want to do, the time to start is NOW. You have to create that perfect moment and be ready that things will work itself. When you start things, and you be will surprise how God lines up the right people to help you go to the next level in your life.
5. Maybe it's not your time
Timing is everything! I have learned that we really can't rush through life, because, everything is a process, and we need to trust that process. Imagine if everything happened when we wanted it. We would never appreciate the struggle and the achievements. It would be like, we are scoring things with ease, without recognizing the invested work, the people who help us and the lessons we learn along the way. Understanding that things won't always happen when we want it to has always been a tough lesson for me. But I always end up appreciating it, because it only pushes me to prepare for the next level and to grow where I am planted.
We've all at some point felt stuck or like our life is on a downward spiral. If you or anyone you know is feeling stuck, the first place to start is by doing a self-evaluation. Check yourself, what are you doing to hold yourself back? What is hindering your process? Remember, you are in control of your life.
So, you don't need someone else's permission to go to the next level. You don't need validation to do what you want to do, just do it. One of the key things that helped to get unstuck, was acknowledging that I was holding myself back, no one else but me. Also, when you see others around you winning, it should motivate you to make it happen. If they can do it, you can too. As Gala Darling, recently shared, "recognise that there is no lack, no scarcity: if she can do it, so can you! Use your jealousy and see what it’s telling you ... Success is never about “luck”: it’s a result of knowledge and concerted effort. Those things are totally within reach!".
We all have the same 24 hours; it's how we decide to use our time.