At the start of the year, many of us made a long list of resolutions we want to do more of or less of. But to live a life that will bring great fulfillment - we need to constantly remind ourselves of things that will lead to a refreshing path while doing what works for us.
Here I share, a few things we could truly live without in order to embrace the best life we want for ourselves.
One way many of us hold ourselves back is by putting off things for later. But what I have come to realize in my personal life is that putting off things is often associated with underlying fears. We put off things for tomorrow because we don't want to fail and we want things to be a little perfect before we get started.
Do this instead: A little thing that has worked for me is creating a success list - identify the things I need to get done that will help me to reach my goal, prioritize what needs to get done, identify the associated fears and find creative ways to get the task at hand done. Once you have faced your fears and accomplished that goal that hindered you, you have strengthened your muscle of doing rather than just wishing. Remember, if it's not a priority it will never get done.
2. CONSTANTLY COMPARING YOUR JOURNEY TO OTHERS
It's very human of us to peek over to see what everyone else is doing and compare our journey to others. But I have found that comparison is the death of self-confidence. So often, we spend time focusing on what everyone else is doing, forgetting that we have our own unique path that can be inspiring to others.
Do this instead: What I have found that works with comparison is identifying what you like about someone else's journey and use it an inspiration to motivate yourself to be better at what you do and create the path you want for yourself. The minute you realize, your journey is yours, and only you can live your life and tell your story the way you can, then you will accept things for the way they are. Like, I love to say, don't get jealous be inspired.
3. FEAR OF ASKING FOR HELP
One of the greatest lessons I have learned is asking for help. I have had some of my most significant accomplishments because I asked for help. And I have also had some of my worst failures because I was fearful of asking for help. Sometimes we allow our fear of what people would think to limit our growth - because of that, we don't ask for help when we need it.
Playing superman or superwoman isn't cutting it and will only lead to you being burned out.
Do this instead: Learn the art of asking for help, 'put on the mask and ask' - knowing you might be rejected, but do it anyway. No one ever made it to 100% on their own; so ask for what you want, there will always be someone out there willing to give a lending hand.
4. WHATEVER IS CONSUMING YOU
Spend time to identify how different habits, people and environments make you feel. Whether it is an external source (people/relationships, environment) or an internal source (habits, thoughts), it's important to check your energy level and create a lifestyle that will add stability to your life.
Do this instead: If you work in a toxic environment, find ways to not get consumed in the negativity, if you are a disorganized, create systems that will help you get discipline and create a life that isn't so chaotic or if your co-workers call you at odd hours of the night while you are spending time with your family, create personal boundaries that will accommodate your work and personal life.
5. TELLING YOURSELF THE NEGATIVE AND BELIEVING IT
Are you trying to achieve your goals but is fighting the enemy within? That enemy which is our cloud of negative thoughts is a sure way many of us hinder our own progress.
Henry Ford said, "Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right." How often do you walk around telling yourself the pity story - "I can't do this", "I am not good enough" or "I will never make it" especially after facing adversities in starting your business or enhancing your career? Instead of being a victim of your story, choose to see the positive in every moment and change the script - change the way how you view your situation and watch your life change for the better.
Do this instead: The more you repeatedly tell yourself a positive story instead of a negative story not only will life get better but it will also change how you make your decisions and live your life.
6. WAITING ON THE PERFECT MOMENT TO START
Imagine if you sat around waiting for the perfect everything. If I waited for the perfect job, you wouldn't have gotten that promotion. Or if you wait until you have all the money and the dream team you will never start your business. So many of us get consumed with wanting complete when perfect doesn't exist.
Do this instead: You have to create that perfect moment and be ready that things will work itself. When you start things, you be will surprise how God lines up the right people to help you go to the next level in your life.
7. COMFORT ZONE
To reach a level of greatness, embracing change and departing from your comfort zone is a necessity. A great reminder we have all heard at some point in our lives is "You can't keep doing the same things and expect different results" - so wanting something but not taking the risk to step outside of what is known to you, the possibilities will remain unknown.
Do this instead: With every bet you place on yourself and take that risk, departing from your comfort zone stretches you to not only know you more and what you are capable of but it also brings about the newness and abundance of life.
8. LIVING YOUR LIFE TO IMPRESS OTHERS
One of the ways many of us hold ourselves is back is by the need for wanting to please others. Whether it is majoring in a degree we can't imagine seeing ourselves doing just because we want to please our parents or doing something that just doesn't feel right just because want to fit in - most of us have at some point lived life trying to please others!
Sometimes based on our association with others (or what we see others doing) we feel like we need to alter our true selves to 'fit in'.
Do this instead: If you realise you doing something to fit in especially among a group of friends/associates - it's not for you! Let it go.
9. NOT TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF
Quite often more than we should, we give to everyone while neglecting ourselves. Whether it is taking on more than we can realistically do - we try to help everyone, meeting the deadlines of others in our personal and professional lives and sacrifice making ourselves a priority.
How often do you jump out of bed thinking about everything on your to-do list but yourself? Or allowing people to come into our space making demands on our life - without stopping them in their track?
Do this instead: While you might have a family to take care of or a business to grow - slowing down and allowing more quiet times to meditate, get a spa treatment, doing a digital detox and getting more rest is a great way to deposit into yourself without reaching a point of depletion.
10. COMPLAINING BUT NOT DOING
Don't like your current situation or where you are in life - the first thing we need to recognize is that you can change it! Wanting to see changes in your life means you will have to #getthingsdone.
In one of my all time favourite books, You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life, Jen Sincero shared that if, you are constantly complaining about something that means you need to put in the work to change the things you don't like.
Where you are now is based on your own decisions and choices you make, so wanting something, complaining about the situation but not doing will make you feel stuck. So it's simple if you want something, be more intentional - do something!
Do this instead: Create a plan, ask for help and put in the work. If you truly want to enjoy life, don't get stuck on doing what everyone else is doing. Start creating and doing what works for you - eliminate the habits that hold you back and identify what ignites your fire and do just that!